Small Gods Read online

Page 13

 

  The man glared at him and then grinned.

  “You? Youre not even ordained! Youre going to Ephebe?”

  “Yes. ”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Because I told him so,” said the voice of Vorbis, behind the man. “And here he is, most obedient to my wishes. ”

  Brutha had a good view of the mans face. The change in his expression was like watching a grease slick cross a pond. Then the stableman turned as though his feet were nailed to a turntable.

  “My Lord Vorbis,” he oiled.

  “And now he will require a steed,” said Vorbis.

  The stablemans face was yellow with dread.

  "My pleasure. The very best the sta-

  “My friend Brutha is a humble man before Om,” said Vorbis. “He will ask for no more than a mule, I have no doubt. Brutha?”

  “I-I do not know how to ride, my lord,” said Brutha.

  “Any man can get on a mule,” said Vorbis. “Often many times in a short distance. And now, it would appear, we are all here?”

  He raised an eyebrow at the sergeant of the guard, who saluted.

  “We are awaiting General Friit, lord,” he said.

  “Ah. Sergeant Simony, isnt it?”

  Vorbis had a terrible memory for names. He knew every one. The sergeant paled a little, and then saluted crisply.

  “Yes! Sir!”

  “We will proceed without General Friit,” said Vorbis.

  The B of the word “But” framed itself on the sergeants lips, and faded there.

  “General Friit has other business,” said Vorbis. “Most pressing and urgent business. Which only he can attend to. ”

  Friit opened his eyes in grayness.

  He could see the room around him, but only faintly, as a series of edges in the air.

  The sword . . .

  Hed dropped the sword, but maybe he could find it again. He stepped forward, feeling a tenuous resistance around his ankles, and looked down.

  There was the sword. But his fingers passed through it. It was like being drunk, but he knew he wasnt drunk. He wasnt even sober. He was . . . suddenly clear in his mind.

  He turned and looked at the thing that had briefly impeded his progress.

  “Oh,” he said.

  GOOD MORNING.

  “Oh. ”

  "THERE IS A LITTLE CONFUSION AT FIRST. IT IS ONLY TO BE EXPECTED.

  To his horror, Friit saw the tall black figure stride away through the gray wall.

  “Wait!”

  A skull draped in a black hood poked out of the wall.

  YES?

  “Youre Death, arent you?”

  INDEED.

  Friit gathered what remained of his dignity.

  “I know you,” he said. “I have faced you many times. ”

  Death gave him a long stare.

  NO YOU HAVENT.

  "I assure you-

  YOU HAVE FACED MEN. IF YOU HAD FACED ME, I ASSURE YOU . . . YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN.

  “But what happens to me now?”

  Death shrugged.

  DONT YOU KNOW? he said, and disappeared.

  “Wait!”

  Friit ran at the wall and found to his surprise that it offered no barrier. Now he was out in the empty corridor. Death had vanished.

  And then he realized that it wasnt the corridor he remembered, with its shadows and the grittiness of sand underfoot.

  That corridor didnt have a glow at the end, that pulled at him like a magnet pulls at an iron filing.

  You couldnt put off the inevitable. Because sooner or later, you reached the place when the inevitable just went and waited.

  And this was it.

  Friit stepped through the glow into a desert. The sky was dark and pocked with large stars, but the black sand that stretched away to the distance was nevertheless brightly lit.

  A desert. After death, a desert. The desert. No hells, yet. Perhaps there was hope.

  He remembered a story from his childhood. Unusually, it wasnt about smiting. No one was trampled underfoot. It wasnt about Om, dreadful in His rage. It was worse. It was about what happened when you died . . . the journey of your soul.

  They said: you must walk a desert . . .

  “Where is this place?” he said hoarsely.

  THIS IS NO PLACE, said Death .

  . . . all alone . . .

  “What is at the end of the desert?”

  JUDGEMENT .

  . . . with your beliefs . . .

  Friit stared at the endless, featureless expanse.

  “I have to walk it alone?” he whispered. "But . . . now, Im not sure what I believe-

  YES?

  AND NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME-

  Friit took a deep breath, purely out of habit. Perhaps he could find a couple of rocks out there. A small rock to hold and a big rock to hide behind, while he waited for Vorbis . . .

  And that thought was habit, too. Revenge? Here?

  He smiled.

  Be sensible, man. You were a soldier. This is a desert. You crossed a few in your time.

  And you survive by learning about them. Theres whole tribes that know how to live in the worst kinds of desert. Licking water off the shady sides of dunes, that sort of thing . . . They think its home. Put em in a vegetable garden and theyd think you were mad.

  The memory stole over him: a desert is what you think it is. And now, you can think clearly . . .

  There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. Thats what happened in all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed.

  What have I always believed?

  That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right.

  You couldnt get that on a banner. But the desert looked better already.

  Friit set out.

  It was a small mule and Brutha had long legs; if hed made the effort he could have remained standing and let the mule trot out from underneath.

  The order of progression was not as some may have expected. Sergeant Simony and his soldiers rode ahead, on either side of the track.

  They were trailed by the servants and clerks and lesser priests. Vorbis rode in the rear, where an exquisitor rode by right, like a shepherd watching over his flock.

  Brutha rode with him. It was an honor he would have preferred to avoid. Brutha was one of those people who could raise a sweat on a frosty day, and the dust was settling on him like a gritty skin. But Vorbis seemed to derive some amusement from his company. Occasionally he would ask him questions:

  “How many miles have we traveled, Brutha?”

  “Four miles and seven estado, lord. ”

  “But how do you know?”

  That was a question he couldnt answer. How did he know the sky was blue? It was just something in his head. You couldnt think about how you thought. It was like opening a box with the crowbar that was inside.

  “And how long has our journey taken?”

  “A little over seventy-nine minutes. ”

  Vorbis laughed. Brutha wondered why. The puzzle wasnt why he remembered, it was why everyone else seemed to forget.

  “Did your fathers have this remarkable faculty?”

  There was a pause.

  “Could they do it as well?” said Vorbis patiently.

  “I dont know. There was only my grandmother. She had-a good memory. For some things. ” Transgressions, certainly. “And very good eyesight and hearing. ” What she could apparently see or hear through two walls had, he remembered, seemed phenomenal.

  Brutha turned gingerly in the saddle. There was a cloud of dust about a mile behind them on the road.

  “Here come the rest of the soldiers,” he said conversationally.

  This seemed to shock Vorbis. Perhaps it was the first time in years that anyone h
ad innocently addressed a remark to him.

  “The rest of the soldiers?” he said.

  “Sergeant Aktar and his men, on ninety-eight camels with many water-bottles,” said Brutha. “I saw them before we left. ”

  “You did not see them,” said Vorbis. “They are not coming with us. You will forget about them. ”

  “Yes, lord. ” The request to do magic again.

  After a few minutes the distant cloud turned off the road and started up the long slope that led to the high desert. Brutha watched them surreptitiously, and raised his eyes to the dune mountains.

  There was a speck circling up there.

  He put his hand to his mouth.

  Vorbis heard the gasp.

  “What ails you, Brutha?” he said.

  “I remembered about the God,” said Brutha, without thinking.

  “We should always remember the God,” said Vorbis, “and trust that He is with us on this journey. ”

  “He is,” said Brutha, and the absolute conviction in his voice made Vorbis smile.

  He strained to hear the nagging internal voice, but there was nothing. For one horrible moment Brutha wondered if the tortoise had fallen out of the box, but there was a reassuring weight on the strap.

  “And we must bear with us the certainty that He will be with us in Ephebe, among the infidel,” said Vorbis.

  “I am sure He will,” said Brutha.

  “And prepare ourselves for the coming of the prophet,” said Vorbis.

  The cloud had reached the top of the dunes now, and vanished in the silent wastes of the desert.

  Brutha tried to put it out of his mind, which was like trying to empty a bucket underwater. No one survived in the high desert. It wasnt just the dunes and the heat. There were terrors in the burning heart, where even the mad tribes never went. An ocean without water, voices without mouths . . .

  Which wasnt to say that the immediate future didnt hold terrors enough . . .

  Hed seen the sea before, but the Omnians didnt encourage it. This may have been because deserts were so much harder to cross. They kept people in, though. But sometimes the desert barriers were a problem, and then you had to put up with the sea.

  Il-drim was nothing more than a few shacks around a stone jetty, at one of which was a trireme flying the holy oriflamme. When the Church traveled, the travelers were very senior people indeed, so when the Church traveled it generally traveled in style.

  The party paused on a hill and looked at it.

  “Soft and corrupt,” said Vorbis. “Thats what weve become, Brutha. ”

  “Yes, Lord Vorbis. ”

  “And open to pernicious influence. The sea, Brutha. It washes unholy shores, and gives rise to dangerous ideas. Men should not travel, Brutha. At the center there is truth. As you travel, so error creeps in. ”

  “Yes, Lord Vorbis. ”

  Vorbis sighed.

  “In Ossorys day we sailed alone in boats made of hides, and went where the winds of the God took us. Thats how a holy man should travel. ”

  A tiny spark of defiance in Brutha declared that it, personally, would risk a little corruption for the sake of traveling with two decks between its feet and the waves.

  “I heard that Ossory once sailed to the island of Erebos on a millstone,” he ventured by way of conversation.

  “Nothing is impossible for the strong in faith,” said Vorbis.

  “Try striking a match on jelly, mister. ”

  Brutha stiffened. It was impossible that Vorbis could have failed to hear the voice.

  The Voice of the Turtle was heard in the land.

  “Whos this bugger?”

  “Forward,” said Vorbis. “I can see that our friend Brutha is agog to get on board. ”

  The horse trotted on.