The Bromeliad 2 - Diggers Read online

  Chapter 2

  III. But there came a Sign, and people said, Whatis it that this means?

  IV. And it was not good.

  -From the Book of Nome, Signs I, v. III-IV

  Gurder shuffled on hands and knees across the paper from the gate.

  "Of course I can read it," he said. "I know what every word means."

  "Well, then?" said Masklin.

  Gurder looked embarrassed. "It's what every sentence means that's givingme trouble," he said. "It says here ... where was it ... yes, it sayshere the quarry is going to be reopened. What does that mean? It's openalready, any fool knows that. You can see for miles."

  The other nomes crowded around. You certainly could see for miles. Thatwas the terrible part. On three sides the quarry had decently high cliffwalls, but on the fourth side ... well, you got into the habit of notlooking in that direction. There was too much of nothing, which made youfeel even smaller and more vulnerable than you were already.

  Even if the meaning of the paper wasn't clear, it certainly lookedunpleasant.

  "The quarry's a hole in the ground," said Dorcas. "You can't open ahole unless it's been filled in. Stands to reason."

  "A quarry's a place you get stone from," said Grimma. "Humans do it. Theydig a hole and they use the stone for making, well, roads and things."

  "I expect you read that, did you?" said Gurder sourly. He suspectedGrimma of lack of respect for authority. It was also incredibly annoyingthat, against all the obvious deficiencies of her sex, she was better atreading than he was.

  "I did, actually," said Grimma, tossing her head.

  "But, you see," said Masklin patiently, "there aren't any more stoneshere, Grimma. That's why there's a hole."

  "Good point," said Gurder, sternly.

  "Then he'll make the hole bigger!'" snapped Grimma. "Look at those cliffsup there"-they obediently looked-"they're made of stone! Look here"-every head swivelled down to where her foot was tapping impatiently atthe paper-"it says it's for a highway extension! He's going to make thequarry bigger! Our quarry! That's what it says he's going to do!"

  There was a long silence.

  Then Dorcas said, "Who is?"

  "Order! He's put his name on it," said Grimma.

  "She's right, you know," said Masklin. "Look. It says: To be reopened, byOrder."

  The nomes shuffled their feet. Order. It didn't sound a promising name.

  Anyone called Order would probably be capable of anything.

  Gurder stood up and brushed the dust off his robe.

  "It's only a piece of paper, when all's said and done," he said sullenly.

  "But the human came up here," said Masklin. "They've never come up herebefore."

  "Dunno about that," said Dorcas. "I mean, all the quarry buildings. Theold workshops. The doorways and so on. I mean, they're for humans. Alwaysworried me, that has. Where humans have been before, they tend to goagain. They're rascals for that."

  There was another crowded silence, the kind that gets made by lots ofpeople thinking unhappy thoughts.

  "Do you mean," said a nome slowly, "that we've come all this way, we'veworked so hard to make a place to live in, and now it's going to be takenaway?"

  "I don't think we should get too disturbed right at this-" Gurder began.

  "We've got families here," said another nome. Masklin realized that itwas Angalo. He'd been married in the spring to a young lady from the DelIcatessen family, and they'd already got a fine pair of youngsters, twomonths old and talking already.

  "And we were going to have another go at planting seeds," said anothernome. "We've spent ages clearing that ground behind the big sheds. Youknow that."

  Gurder raised his hand imploringly.

  "We don't know anything," he said. "We mustn't start getting upset untilwe've found out what's going on."

  "And then can we get upset?" said another nome sourly. Masklin recognisedNisodemus, one of the Stationeri and Gurder's own assistant. He'd neverliked the young nome, and the young nome had never liked anyone, as far as Masklin could see. "I've never, um, been happy with the feel of thisplace, um, I knew there was going to be trouble-"

  "Now, now, Nisodemus," said Gurder. "There's no cause to go talking likethat. We'll have another meeting of the council," he added. "That's whatwe'll do."

  The crumpled newspaper lay beside the road. Occasionally a breeze wouldblow it randomly along the verge, while a few inches away, the trafficthundered past.

  A stronger gust hit at the same time as a particularly large truckroared by, dragging a tail of whirling air. The paper shot up over theroad, spread out like a sail, and rose on the wind.

  * * *

  The Quarry Council was in session, in the space under the floor of theold quarry office.

  Other nomes had crowded in and the rest of the tribe milled around outside.

  "Look," said Angalo, "there's a big old barn up on the hill, the otherside of the potato field. It wouldn't hurt to take some stores up there.

  Make it ready, you know. Just in case. Then if anything does happen, we've got somewhere to go."

  "The quarry buildings don't have spaces under the floors, except in thecanteen and the office," said Dorcas gloomily. "It's not like the Store.

  There aren't many places to hide. We need the sheds. If humans come here, we'll have to leave."

  "So the barn will be a good idea, won't it?" repeated Angalo.

  "There's a human on a tractor who goes up there sometimes," said Masklin.

  "We could keep out of its way. Anyway," said Angalo, looking around atthe rows of faces, "maybe the humans will go away again. P'raps they'lljust take their stone and go. And we can come back. We could send someoneto spy on them every day."

  "It seems to me you've been thinking about this barn for some time," saidDorcas.

  "Me and Masklin talked about it one day when we were hunting up there," said Angalo. "Didn't we, Masklin?"

  "Hmm?" said Masklin, who was staring into space.

  "You remember, we went up there and I said, 'That'd be a useful place ifever we needed it,' and you said 'Yes.' "

  "Hmm," said Masklin.

  "Yes, but there's this Winter thing coming," said one of the nomes. "Youknow. Cold. Glitter on everythin'."

  "Robins," another nome put in.

  "Yeah," said the first nome uncertainly. "Them too. Not a good time to go movin' around, with robins zoomin' about."

  "Nothing wrong with robins," said Granny Morkie, who had nodded off for amoment. "My dad used to say there's good eatin' on a robin, if youcatched one." She beamed at them, proudly.

  This comment had the same effect on everyone's train of thought as abrick wall built across the line. Eventually Gurder said, "I still say weshouldn't get too excited right at this moment. We should wait and trustin Arnold Bros. (est. 1905)'s guidance."

  There was more silence. Then Angalo said, very quietly, "Fat lot of goodthat'll do us."

  There was silence again. But this time it was a thick, heavy silence, andit got thicker and heavier and more menacing, like a storm cloud buildingup over a mountain, until the first flash of lightning would come as arelief.

  It came.

  "What did you say?" said Gurder, slowly.

  "Only what everyone's been thinking," said Angalo. Many of the nomesstarted to stare at their feet.

  "And what do you mean by that?" said Gurder.

  "Where is Arnold Bros. (est. 1905), then?" said Angalo. "How did he helpus get out of the Store? Exactly, I mean? He didn't, did he?" Angaloshook a bit, as if even he was terrified to hear himself talking likethis. "We did it. By learning things. We did it all ourselves. We learnedto read books, your books, and we found things out and we did things forourselves."

  Gurder jumped to his feet, white with fury. Beside him Nisodemus puthis hand over his mouth and looked too shocked to speak.

  "Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) goes wherever nomes go!" he shouted.

  Angalo swayed backward, but his father had be
en one of the toughest nomesin the Store and he didn't give in easily.

  "You just made that up!" he snorted. "I'm not saying that there wasn't, well, something in the Store, but that was the Store and this is here andall we've got is us The trouble is, you Stationer! were so powerful inthe Store and just can't bear to give it up!"

  Now Masklin stood up.

  "Just a moment, you two-" he began.

  "So that's all it is, is it?" growled Gurder, ignoring him. "That's theHaberdasheri for you! You always were too proud! Too arrogant for yourown good! Drive a truck a little way and we think we know it all, do we?

  Perhaps we're getting what we deserve, eh?"

  "This isn't the time or place for this sort of thing-" Masklin went on.

  "That's just a silly threat! Why can't you accept it, you old fool, Arnold Bros. doesn't exist! Use the brains Arnold Bros. gave you, why don't you?"

  "If you don't both shut up I'll bang your heads together!"

  That seemed to work.

  "Right," said Masklin, in a more normal voice. "Now, I think it would be a very good idea if everyone went and got on with-with whatever it is they were getting on with. Because this is no way to make complicated decisions. We all need to think for a while." The nomes filed out, relieved that it was over. Masklin could hear them arguing outside.

  "Not you two," he warned. "Now, look-" said Gurder.

  "No, you look, the pair of you!" said Masklin, "Here we are, maybe a big problem looming up, and you start arguing! You both ought to know better!

  Can't you see you're upsetting people?" "Well, it's important," muttered Angalo.

  "What we should do now," said Masklin sharply, "is have another look at this barn. Can't say I'm happy with the idea, but it might be useful to have a bolthole. Anyway, it'll keep people occupied, and that'll stop them from worrying. How about it?"

  "I suppose so," said Gurder, with bad grace.

  "But-"

  "No more buts," said Masklin. "You're acting like idiots. People look up to the pair of you, so you'll set an example. Do you hear?"

  They glowered at each other, but they both nodded.

  "Right, then," said Masklin. "Now, we'll all go out, and people'll see you've made up, and that'll stop their fretting. Then we can start planning." "But Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) is important," said Gurder.

  "I daresay," said Masklin as they came out into the daylight of the quarry. The wind was dropping again, leaving the sky a deep cold blue. "There's no daresay about it," said Gurder.

  "Listen," said Masklin, "I don't know whether Arnold Bros. exists, or was in the Store, or just lives in our heads or whatever. What I do know is that he isn't just going to drop out of the sky."

  All three of them glanced up when he said this. The Store nomes shuddered just a bit. It still took a certain courage to look up at the endless sky when you've been used to nice friendly floorboards, but it was traditional, when you referred to Arnold Bros., to look up. Up was where Management and Accounts had been, back in the Store. "Funny you should say that. There's something up there," said Angalo.

  Something white and vaguely rectangular was drifting gently through theair, and growing bigger.

  "It's just a bit of paper," said Gurder. "Something the wind's blownoff the dump."

  It definitely got a lot bigger, and turned gently in the air as ittumbled into the quarry.

  "I think," said Masklin slowly, as its shadow raced toward him across theground, "that we'd better stand back a bit-"

  It dropped on him.

  It was, of course, only paper. But nomes are small and it had fallenquite some way, so the force was enough to knock him over.

  What was more surprising were the words he saw as he fell backward. Theywere: Arnold Bros.

  Chapter 3

  I. And they Sought for a Better Sign from ArnoldBros. (est. 1905), and there was a Sign; II. And some spake up saying. Well, all right, butit is really nothing but a Coincidence; III. But others said, Even a Coincidence can be aSign.

  -From the Book of Nome, Signs II, v. I-III Masklin had always kept an open mind on the subject of Arnold Bros.

  (est. 1905). After all, the Store had been pretty impressive, what withthe escalators and so on, and if Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) hadn'tcreated it, who had? After all, that only left humans. Not that heconsidered humans were as stupid as most nomes thought. They might be bigand slow but there was a sort of mindless unstoppability about them.

  They could certainly be taught to do simple tasks.

  On the other hand, the world was miles across and full of complicatedthings. It seemed to be asking a lot of Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) tocreate the whole thing.

  So Masklin had decided not to decide anything about Arnold Bros. (est.

  1905), in the hope that if there was an Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) and hefound out about Masklin, he wouldn't mind much.

  The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people willinsist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

  The faded newspaper from the sky had been carefully spread out on thefloor of one of the old sheds.

  It was covered in words. Most of them even Masklin could understand, but even Grimma had to admit she couldn't guess at what they were supposed to mean when you read them all in one go. SCHOOL SLAMS SHOCK PROBE, for example, was a mystery. SO Was FURY OVER TAXES REBEL. So WBS PLAY

  SUPER BINGO IN YOUR SOARAWAY BLACKBURY EVENING

  POST & GAZETTE. But they were mysteries that would have to wait.

  What all eyes were staring at was the quite small area of words, aboutnome-sized, under the word PEOPLE.

  "That means people," said Grimma.

  "Really?" said Masklin.

  "And the lettering underneath it says: 'Fun-loving, globetrottingmillionaire playboy Richard Arnold will be jetting to the Floridasunshine next week to witness the launch of Arnsat 1, the firstcommuni"-she hesitated-"cations sat ... ellite built by the Arnco Inter ... national Group. This leap into the future comes only a few monthsafter the dest ... ruction by fire of-"

  The nomes, who'd been silently reading along with her, shivered.

  "-Arnold Bros., the store here in Blackbury which was the first of theArnold chain and the basis of the multimillion-pound trad ... inggroup. It was founded in 1905 by Alderman Frank W. Arnold and his brotherArthur. Grand ... son Richard, 39, who will ..." Her voice faded to awhisper.

  "Grandson Richard, 39," repeated Gurder, his face bright with triumph.

  "What d'you think of that, eh?"

  "What does globe-trotting mean?" said Masklin.

  "Well, globe means ball, and trotting is a sort of slow running," saidGrimma. "So he runs slowly on a ball. Globe-trotting."

  "This is a message from Arnold Bros.," said Gurder ponderously. "It'sbeen sent to us. A message."

  "A message meant, um, for us!" said Nisodemus, who was standing justbehind Gurder. He held up his hands. "Yea, all the way from-"

  "Yes, yes, Nisodemus," said Gurder. "Do be quiet, there's a good chap."

  He gave Masklin an embarrassed look.

  "Doesn't sound very likely, running slowly. I mean, you'd fall off. If itwas a ball, is what I'm saying," said Masklin.

  They stared at the Picture again. It was made up of tiny dots. Theyshowed a smiling face. It had teeth and a beard.

  "It stands to reason," said Gurder, more confidently. "Arnold Bros.

  (est. 1905) has sent Grandson Richard, 39, to ... to .. ."

  "And these two names who founded the Store," said Masklin. "I don'tunderstand that. I thought Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) created the Store."

  "Then these two founded it," said Gurder. "That makes sense. It was a bigStore. It'd be easy to find, even if you weren't looking for it." Helooked slightly uneasy. "Losted and founded," he said, half to himself.

  "That makes sense. Yes."

  "O-kay," said Dorcas. "So let's just see where we've got to. The message is, is it, is that Grandson Richard, 39, is in Florida, wherever thatis-"


  "Going to be in Florida," said Grimma.

  "It's a type of colored juice," volunteered a nome. "I know, 'cause oneday when we went over to the garbage dump, there was this old carton, andit said Florida Orange Juice. I read it," he added proudly.

  "Going to be in this orange-colored juice, so I'm given to understand," said Dorcas doubtfully. "Running slowly on a ball and jetting, whateverthat is. And liking it, apparently."

  The nomes fell silent while they thought about this.

  "Holy utterances are often difficult to understand," said Gurdergravely.

  "This must be a powerful holy one," said Dorcas.

  "I think it's just a coincidence," said Angalo loftily. "This is just astory about a human being, like in some of the books we read."

  "And how many humans could even stand on a ball, let alone run slowly onit?" demanded Gurder.

  "All right, " said Angalo, "But what are we going to do, then?"

  Gurder's mouth opened and shut a few times. "Why, it's obvious," he saiduncertainly.

  "Tell us, then." said Angalo sourly.

  "Well, er. It's, er, obvious. We must go to, er, the place where theorange juice is ..."

  "Yes?" said Angalo.

  "And, er, and find Grandson Richard, 39, which should be easy, you see, because we've got this picture." Gurder scratched his chin. "I mean, how many humans can there be in the world?" he said. "Not more than a fewhundred. And when we've found him ..."

  "Yes?" said Angalo.

  Gurder have him a haughty look. "Remember the commandment that ArnoldBros. (est. 1905) put up in the Store," he said. "Did it not say 'If youdo not see what you require, please ask'?"

  The nomes nodded. Many of them had seen it. And the other commandments:

  "Everything Must Go," and, by the escalators, "Dogs and Strollers Must BeCarried." They were the words of Arnold firos. (est. 1905). You couldn'treally argue with them... . But on the other hand, well, that had beenthe Store, and this was here.

  "And?" said Angalo.

  Gurder began to sweat. "Well, er, and then we ask him to let us be leftalone in the quarry."

  There was an awkward silence.