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Wintersmith Page 38
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Page 38
"Isnt it too early for that?"
"Not up here. They starts up here!" Granny hurried along little paths and behind gardens and came out into the town square, which was thronged with people. Small stalls had been set up. A lot of people were standing around in the slightly hopeless why-are-we-here? way of crowds whore doing what their hearts want to do but their heads feel embarrassed about, but at least there were hot things on sticks to eat. There were lots of white chickens, too. Very good eggs, Nanny had said, so it would have been a shame to kill them. Granny walked to the front of the crowd. There was no need to push people out of the way. They just moved sideways, without noticing. Theyd arrived just in time. Children came running along the road to the bridge, only just ahead of the dancers who, as they trudged along, seemed like quite homely and ordinary men—men Tiffanyd seen often, working in forges or driving carts. They all wore white clothes, or at least clothes that had been white once, and like the audience they looked a bit sheepish, their expressions suggesting that this was all just a bit of fun, really, not to be taken seriously. They were even waving to people in the crowd. Tiffany looked around and saw Miss Tick, and Nanny, and even Mrs. Earwig…nearly every witch she knew. Oh, and there was Annagramma, minus Mr. Boffos little devices, and looking very proud. It wasnt like this last autumn, she thought. It was dark and quiet and solemn and hidden, everything that this isnt. Who watched it from the shadows? Who is watching now from the light? Who is here in secret? A drummer and a man with an accordion pushed their way through the crowd, along with the local pub owner carrying eight pints of beer on a tray (because no grown man is going to dance in front of his friends with ribbons around his hat and bells on his trousers without the clear prospect of a large drink). When the noise had died down a bit, the drummer beat the drum a few times and the accordionist played a long-drawn-out chord, the legal signal that a Morris dance is about to begin, and people who hang around after this have only got themselves to blame. The two-man band struck up. The men, in two lines of three facing each other, counted the beat and then leaped…. Tiffany turned to Granny as twelve hobnailed boots crashed to the ground, throwing up sparks. "Tell me how to take away pain," she said, above the noise of the dance. Crash! "Its hard," said Granny, not taking her eyes off the dancers. Crash went the boots again. "You can move it out of the body?" Crash! "Sometimes. Or hide it. Or make a cage for it and carry it away. And all of its dangerous, and it will kill you if you dont respect it, young woman. It is all price and no profit. You are asking me to tell you how to put your hand in the lions mouth. " Crash! "I must know, to help the Baron. Its bad. There is a lot I have to do. "
"This you choose to do?" said Granny, still watching. "Yes!" Crash! "This is your Baron who doesnt like witches?" said Granny, her gaze going from face to face in the crowd. "But who does like witches until they need one, Mistress Weatherwax?" said Tiffany sweetly. Crash! "This is a reckoning, Mistress Weatherwax," Tiffany added. After all, once youve kissed the Wintersmith, youre in the mood to dare. And Granny Weatherwax smiled, as if shed done all that was expected of her. "Ha! Is it now?" she said. "Very well. Come and see me again before you go, and well see what you may take back with you. And I hopes you can close the doors you are opening. Now watch the people! Sometimes you see her!" Tiffany paid attention to the dance. The Fool had turned up without her noticing, wandering around collecting money in his greasy top hat. If a girl looked as though shed squeal if he kissed her, he gave her a kiss. And sometimes, without any warning, hed spring off into the dance, spinning through the men with never a foot in the wrong place. Then Tiffany saw it. The eyes of a woman on the other side of the dance flashed gold, just for a moment. Once shed seen it, she saw it again—in the eyes of a boy, a girl, the man holding the beer, moving around to watch the Fool— "Summers here!" said Tiffany, and realized that she was tapping her foot to the beat; she realized it because a heavier boot had just trodden on it and pinned it gently but firmly to the ground. Beside it, You looked up at her in blue-eyed innocence that became, for the briefest fragment of a second, the lazy golden eyes of a snake. "Shes meant to be," said Granny Weatherwax, removing her boot. "A few coppers for luck, miss?" said a voice close by, and there was the sound of money being shaken in an ancient hat. Tiffany turned and looked into purple-gray eyes. The face around them was lined and tanned and grinning. He had a gold earring. "A copper or two from the lovely lady?" he wheedled. "Silver or gold, maybe?" Sometimes, Tiffany thought, you just know how it all should go…. "Iron?" she said, taking the ring off her finger and dropping it into the hat. The Fool picked it out, delicately, and flipped it into the air. Tiffanys eye followed it, but somehow it wasnt in the air anymore but was glistening on the mans finger. "Irons enough," he said, and gave her a sudden kiss on the cheek. It was only slightly chilly. The galleries inside the Feegle mound were crowded but hushed. This was important. The honor of the clan was at stake here. In the middle was a large book, taller than Rob and filled with colorful pictures. It was quite muddy from its journey down into the mound. Rob had been challenged. For years hed thought himself to be a hero, and then the hag o hags had said he wasna, no really. Weel, you couldnt argue wi the hag o hags, but he wuz goin to rise tae the challenge, oh aye, so he wuz, or his name wasna Rob Anybody. "Wheres mah coo?" he read. "Is that mah coo? It gaes cluck! It is a…a…chicken! It is no mah coo! An then theres this wee paintin o a couple o chickens. Thats another page, right?"
"It is indeed, Rob," said Billy Bigchin. There was a cheer from the assembled Feegles as Rob ran around the book, waving his hands in the air. "An this one is a lot harder than Abker, right?" he said, when hed done the circuit. "That one was easy! An a very predictable plot. Whoever writted that book didna stretch himself, in ma opinion. "
"You mean The ABC?" said Billy Bigchin. "Aye. " Rob Anybody jumped up and down and punched the air a few times. "Got somethin a wee bit tougher?" The gonnagle looked at the stack of battered books the Feegles had, in various ways, collected. "Somethin I can get ma teeth intae," Rob added. "A big book. "
"Well, this ones called Principles of Modern Accountancy," said Billy doubtfully. "An is that a big heroic book to read?" said Rob, running on the spot. "Aye. Probably, but—" Rob Anybody held up a hand for silence and looked across at Jeannie, who had a crowd of little Feegles surrounding her. She was smiling at him, and his sons were staring at their father in silent astonishment. One day, Rob thought, theyll be able to walk up to even the longest words and give them a good kicking. Not even commas and those tricksie semicolonses will stop them! He had to be a hero. "Ahm feelin guid about this readin," said Rob Anybody. "Bring it on!" And he read Principles of Modern Accountancy all morning, but just to make it interesting, he put lots of dragons in it. Authors Note T he Morris dance… …is traditionally danced on May 1, to welcome in the summer. Its history is a bit confused, possibly because its often danced near pubs, but it is now the English folk dance. The dancers usually wear white, and have bells sewn on their clothes. It is danced by both men and women, and is certainly now danced in the United States too. I know this because I saw the Dark Morris danced in a bookshop in Chicago some years ago. Id invented the Dark Morris for another book called Reaper Man (at least I think I invented it), and a Morris team (officially known as a side) turned up in all black, just for me. They danced it in silence and perfect time, without the music and bells of the "summer" dance. It was beautifully done. But it was also a bit creepy. So it might not be a good idea to try it at home….

Feet of Clay
The Color of Magic
Thud!
Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
I Shall Wear Midnight
Mort
Raising Steam
Guards! Guards!
Equal Rites
A Hat Full of Sky
The Light Fantastic
Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook
Wyrd Sisters
Soul Music
Small Gods
Sourcery
Reaper Man
Night Watch
Lords and Ladies
The Fifth Elephant
Monstrous Regiment
The Truth
Witches Abroad
Eric
Going Postal
Men at Arms
Jingo
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
The Wee Free Men
Pyramids
Wintersmith
Moving Pictures
Carpe Jugulum
Interesting Times
Maskerade
Making Money
The Shepherd's Crown
Hogfather
Troll Bridge
The Last Continent
The Sea and Little Fishes
Snuff
Unseen Academicals
Guards! Guards! tds-8
Jingo d-21
Turtle Recall: The Discworld Companion ... So Far
The Fifth Elephant d-24
Discworld 39 - Snuff
The Long War
Only You Can Save Mankind
The Science of Discworld III - Darwin's Watch tsod-3
A Blink of the Screen: Collected Short Fiction
Unseen Academicals d-37
Wings
Making Money d-36
A Blink of the Screen
Johnny and the Bomb
Dodger
Strata
Discworld 02 - The Light Fantastic
The Folklore of Discworld
The Science of Discworld
The Unadulterated Cat
Raising Steam: (Discworld novel 40) (Discworld Novels)
The World of Poo
Discworld 05 - Sourcery
The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner: And Other Stories
The Science of Discworld II - The Globe tsod-2
Small Gods: Discworld Novel, A
Men at Arms tds-15
Tama Princes of Mercury
The Last Hero (the discworld series)
The Long Utopia
Discworld 03 - Equal Rites
Terry Pratchett - The Science of Discworld
The Long Earth
The Carpet People
The Sea and Little Fishes (discworld)
The Colour of Magic
Discworld 16 - Soul Music
The Long Cosmos
The Dark Side of the Sun
Monstrous Regiment tds-28
The Bromeliad 3 - Wings
Dragons at Crumbling Castle: And Other Stories
Night Watch tds-27
The Science of Discworld I tsod-1
The Bromeliad 1 - Truckers
The Science of Discworld Revised Edition
The Abominable Snowman
Father Christmas’s Fake Beard
The Bromeliad Trilogy
A Slip of the Keyboard
The Wee Free Men d(-2
Johnny and the Dead
Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook (Discworld Novels)
Truckers
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents d(-1
Diggers
Thief of Time tds-26
Science of Discworld III
Dragons at Crumbling Castle
Nation
Darwin's Watch
Interesting Times d-17
The Bromeliad 2 - Diggers
The Science of Discworld II